You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
