Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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