I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
