They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
