you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Randomize
