i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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