One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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