I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
