Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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