i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
