I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
