Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
