operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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