She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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