yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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