The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i can't believe i had my finger in that
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
