Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
