it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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