What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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