I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Operation Purity has been aborted
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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