is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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