why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
