Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
