The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
