I woke up to her vacumming the grass
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
