Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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