census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
