fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize