Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
