but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
