new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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