So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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