I bet he comes in French.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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