Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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