What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize