During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize