To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize