the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You took a bar mat shot.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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