yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Randomize