lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
My underwear smells like fireworks.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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