we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
