so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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