Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
