You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Randomize
