i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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