i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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