Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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