literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
