I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
God gave him joint rollers for hands
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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