Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
