Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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