Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
