That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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