She is in my trunk
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize