Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
