Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I FOUND THE LEGS
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
