I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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