I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
