Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
