And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
