I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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