More tranny stories later!
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
