you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
