Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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